Part 2: Speaking From Your Wounds

Speaking From Your Wounds

Some of us don’t raise our voices—
we raise our shields.
Some of us don’t shut down—
we self-preserve.
And sometimes, when we speak,
it’s not us speaking—
it’s our wounds.

Trauma doesn’t always scream. Sometimes it whispers through sarcasm, avoidance, silence, or rage. When we haven’t processed our pain, we don’t just listen with our trauma—we speak from it.

That sharp clapback?
That urge to ghost instead of explain?
That discomfort when someone offers you love too freely?

All of that might be less about the present moment—and more about the echoes of moments that cause you previous pain.

What It Looks Like to Speak from the Wound:

• You misinterpret neutral feedback as criticism.
  Someone says, “Hey, can we talk about what happened earlier?”
  Your trauma hears: “You messed up again. You’re a problem.”

• You get defensive when people ask for boundaries.
  “Why are you trying to control me?”
  Nope. They’re just trying to feel safe.

• You silence yourself because you’ve learned that speaking equals punishment.
  So you shrink, go quiet, and carry resentment like it’s your job.

Why Does This Happen?

Because your body and brain were wired for survival—not connection. Your nervous system still remembers when:

• Expressing emotion got you in trouble

• Vulnerability meant abandonment

• Conflict was dangerous

According to Gabor Maté, trauma isn’t just what happened to you— it’s what happened inside you as a result.

Real Talk: Hurt People, Hurt People

Sometimes we justify harmful behavior by saying, “It’s just how I am.” But the truth is— that’s not who you are. That’s who you became to survive.

Your inner child is still protecting themselves. But you?

You're allowed to unlearn the language of pain.

So What Can You Do?

1. Pause Before You Respond

Ask: Am I speaking to this person, or am I speaking to someone from my past through them?

2. Practice Nonviolent Communication

Inspired by Marshall Rosenberg’s work, try this formula:

“When you said ___, I felt ___. What I need is ___.”

Simple. Honest. Kind.
A revolution in sentence form.

3. Sit With Your Silence

Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is… nothing.
Not because you're shutting down—but because you're choosing not to harm.

Journaling Prompt:

What are the phrases or tones that make you feel immediately unsafe? Where do you think those reactions were born?

You’re Not Too Much. You Were Just Hurt Too Deeply.

Remember: You are not your outburst.
You are not your shutdown.
You are not your fear of being misunderstood.

You are someone learning to hear yourself through the static of survival.

And that? That’s beautiful.

Further Reading:

• Rosenberg, M. B. (2015). Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life. PuddleDancer Press.

• Maté, G. (2022). The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture.

• van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma.

• Herman, J. L. (1992). Trauma and Recovery.